Days THIRTY SIX thru Fifty SIX

Well I am still doing the HCG and following the diet somewhat, but I have not been cooking like I was at the beginning. So ultimately I have only lost a few more pounds. NOW I am starting to get mad. I am getting mad at myself for not trying so hard and for giving in to all the temptations around my home and when I am out and about. I look back and realize that I could have lost 56-60 pounds by now. I have only lost 24 pounds thus far. I have to get serious. I think I will add a bit of exercise to my regimen. Tomorrow I will start doing my Pilates again. It isn't stressful to my joints, it makes me feel amazing, it tones me up and may just give me that extra push to really start seeing results. I have lost a few more inches here & there and feel way better in a bathing suit then I did last year, but I still have at least 50 pounds to go! Stick with it, stay strong! Don't give into those cravings, don't cheat, cook your food in advance and imagine your body long & lean! It will happen. It didn't happen for me by June, but now my goal is to be down the weight by my birthday. I have TWO more months. That is 60 days..... I will be under the 200 mark!!! Ready set GO AND DO IT!!! {This is a pep talk to myself when I re-read my blog, which really helps get me motivated}.

Day THIRTY FIVE

WOW it has already been over 30 days now on the diet and I feel pretty good. I feel like I could have done better, but I am discovering that even with HCG it is all about your emotional state and readiness. I have had a few days in the first month where I was just needing a little somethin' off the diet plan. I knew this would stop the weight loss, but did it anyways. Most of the times I felt horrible afterwards. I would have a small bite of something "bad" and would feel like WHY did I just do that?? Why did I just sabotage myself. Then I would start thinking well I already screwed up for the day so I might as well keep going.... then I would eat something else not on my diet plan. This is what prevented my ultimate weight loss in the first month. I know this, I am not denying it and am going to try a bit harder this second round to do even better. I am going to push myself to lose the FULL thirty pounds in thirty days. I know I can do it, it's just getting my mind to stay fully focused and willing. So far I can notice some wonderful things like clothing fitting a bit better, my arms looking thinner, my face looking different. Next month I hope to have a dramatic difference to where people really stop to notice. I am in this thing until my goal weight is achieved. Let's get little Jen!!!

Days ELEVEN thru TWENTY FIVE

The past two weeks have been a roller coaster ride. Seriously, this diet is awesome and totally works. My body is changing and I can see results and feel fabulous. Especially when you start feeling different driving in your car, or sitting in your favorite chair, not to mention taking a shower and shaving your legs to find your legs smaller than before, that is the best! I am a total fan of HCG. However, my will power is starting to get weaker. I am not really hungry, but I sure do miss eating the way I used to. Being able to eat whatever, whenever. I have discovered that I like to eat when I am bored, I like to eat when I am super busy and need a quick little break, food used to be my peace. Now that I am limited to my food and can't really eat when I am feeling this way, it is much harder to resist whatever is in my pantry or fridge. Luckily, I have not purchased anything super dangerous, so the only things to snack on or cheat with are actually healthy and/or sugar free. BUT the HGC stops working if you don't stick to the protocol. I of course want it to work, I want to lose the pound per day like I was in the beginning, but my will power is failing me in these weeks. Part of the problem that got me sidetracked was Easter Sunday. I hosted it at my house and that was the worst thing to do. I made a honey baked Ham and fixin's. Then the desserts really did a number on me, as we had all sorts of pies, which are my weakness. Needless to say, I cheated all day long and figured it would be OK. Well, to be honest it wasn't. It was not OK. I gained three of my pounds back. That was totally not even worth it, well maybe the pie was, but what I am saying is that it took me three days of eating great to get those pounds off and I blew it because I couldn't resist the "normal" food that I used to always eat. I am happy to say that I've lost those three gained pounds but now I am on a plateau of no weight loss for a few days. I miss the taste of certain things. Like milk and cereal. I also miss pasta. However, I have not once cheated with a piece of bread. I thought about it, but then didn't crave bread. This is a small miracle right here. ME not eating bread, not craving it or wanting it??? This stuff is amazing. Eventually, in a few more months I will hopefully be on my maintenance plan and will omit bread from my diet completely or at least mostly. I've lost a total of 15 pounds to date, would have been more if I was stricter with this and had a bit more will power. I am also measuring myself and the even more exciting fact is that I have lost almost 6 inches on my waist and 4 inches on my hips. The HCG is working it's magic regardless of the actual weight loss. My hope is that I can get under the 200 mark by the end of my second round which will start in about a week. When this happens I will be overwhelmed by all sorts of emotions. I've been over this mark for over 15 years. This is about to change.......

Day TEN

Woke up today and only lost 1/2 a pound. Was a bit irritated by that, but then I stopped and figured at least it was a loss and not a gain right? Yes! I am really starting to see a bit of a difference in my appearance now, nothing crazy, but subtle. I am soooo thrilled that this diet is really working. I am really loving the way this works and hopefully come August (my birthday) I will be wearing a size 12 or smaller that is my goal! I know I can do it!!! Little Jen is going to be blowing out her 36 candles and wishing for new clothes!!!

Day NINE

So yesterday was a good day. I had tons of energy and felt great. BUT today I felt horrible and really had no energy. I was like NO!!! I hope to God that this is not going to make me sick now that I am doing so well and feeling great. But today I was pretty out of sorts. Super tired and today I can honestly say I felt like I needed something more than what I was eating. I almost felt a bit nauseous. I could have slept all day. I was worried so I got online again and read that I am most likely in detox mode and that this is normal and will pass. I sure the heck hope so, as I am not one to be lazy and that is exactly how I felt. I did get some more energy later in the day, but the whole morning and early afternoon was seriously the hardest day ever. I had to push myself to walk from point A to point B, I had trouble focusing. I ended up eating a bit extra protein and also cheated with a spoonful of cottage cheese. I know it wasn't a bit cheat, but still I felt like if I didn't I might pass out. I am hoping tomorrow I will feel much better. I am starting to take a multivitamin like they suggest to see if this makes a big difference. I found some awesome super potent ones called "Alive" at The Vitamin Store and hopefully these will sustain me while I am in this stage of my diet. Since my last post I have lost another 3 pounds. In nine days I have lost a total of 12 pounds! Whoo hoo. I am seriously excited about the transformation that is already starting. My face is looking thinner and I can see my stomach is getting smaller too. Now I only have 60 pounds left to lose. I am 12 pounds closer to being LITTLE Jen.

Day SEVEN

I know I've missed days 3-6, but hey I'm a busy mother, wife and business owner and sleep came before blogging. So today was Day 7 and I was thrilled to get on the scale and see I am down 9 pounds since Day 1. NINE pounds and feeling terrific! Seriously, I feel great. I am not hungry or shaky. I am not craving anything either which is kinda strange and the best thing is I have super will power. Let me tell you how I went to my favorite sub shop and ordered a few subs for other people and didn't even desire one for myself. I also had a friend bring me a banana bread which I carefully avoided. I baked my daughters a batch of Toll House chocolate chip cookies and didn't have a single one, nor did I really want one. I also made a trip to Starbucks and ordered a regular coffee with sugar free Cinnamon Dolce pump vs. my usual. I have also avoided a piece of pizza at a pizza party, I went for the salad instead and splurged with a bit of regular Italian dressing (less than a teaspoon). Today I felt so amazing by what the HCG does for you and I know without a doubt that this is the diet that is going to change my life. It's so crazy how I actually enjoy cooking all the meals for me & my hubby, I also am making much better choices for my two girls, who I have to also think of as they need to eat a bit more than we are and more regular type of foods. So I am hoping that our entire family is going to benefit from this diet. I know it has only been a week, but my husband & I have bonded in this short amount of time, as we shop together, cook together, weigh in together, and talk about the diet together. We are really excited to see such quick results and feel so good too. Today we measured our chests, waists, hips, arms, and thighs. WOW! I can't wait to see the difference when we measure ourselves next week. We decided to do this once a week vs. daily. I won't tell you how big my arms are, but that sure was an eye opener and I truly hope to NEVER EVER get this large again. I seriously, don't even know how this happened to me. I am not a huge over eater and I try to do good. I don't eat a lot of sweets, I am not someone who eats ice cream every night or junk food every day. I don't drink soda, only water & iced tea. So why am I so big?! I am not sure, but let me tell you.... HCG is going to make me little. I can already see results. NINE pounds lost! Can't wait to wake up tomorrow and weigh myself again. It's been a pound or more a day since we started. So happy for my hubby too, he's lost TEN pounds. YAY!!!

Day TWO

I am so afraid to look at the scale as I ate like a cow yesterday! I get on.... 247.8. WHAT? No way I thought. So I get on the scale again and sure enough I lost a little more than a pound. However, today is day two of "Loading Day" so I have to eat like a pig again today, so perhaps tomorrow I will see a weight increase that they say is normal. I am not going to worry about that now. Now I am going to eat! Breakfast: Two sausage & egg burritos from McDonalds, plus a hashbrown AND today I am really going for it, a sausage biscuit off the $1 menu. I couldn't eat it all. I was actually SICK. I couldn't do it! Lunch: Insult to injury, McDonalds again. I did NOT want to go there, but I figured I need high fat and Pita Jungle and my favorite sushi place is not going to have enough there for me to do this. So I indulge in a Filet-O-Fish sandwich, a small chocolate shake and a large french fry. I ate the sandwhich & drank the shake without a problem, but midway through the fries I feel like I am going to throw up. I am done!! I think I know how the guy on Super Size Me must have felt. Like shit! Dinner: My last supper! OK, so before I started this diet I thought I am going to make my last supper a special one. I am going to eat my most favorite thing on this earth. The braised beef and tortolini from Olive Garden. It's sure to have tons of fat and since I know I won't be eating this again, at least not for a long long time, I want this for dinner. Well now that the night is here and I have absolutely NO appetite, I don't care what I eat. So my husband decides he wants Mexican food and wants a burrito, so we go to Caramaba's and get our favorite burrito's and some chips and salsa as well. Now we have never had a problem eating these burrito's and also the whole bag of chips and salsa that they give you before. However, tonight we seriously ate two or three of the chips and only 3/4 of our burritos. We both felt miserable, we felt disgustingly full and had no desire to finish them and both refrained from eating anything else the rest of the night. The night when we could have had anything for dessert. We just can't do it. The HCG is definitely working already and I am loving that my appetite is leaving me. It's kinda scary in one way, but also a relief. I am going to do this, it's going to work! Today I am BIG Jen, but tomorrow I will get a wee bit littler. I can feel it! Tomorrow we start the 500 calorie diet program. I have premade up all our lunches/snacks to make it easier. Wish us luck!