The beginning

Hi I am BIG Jen, at least at this point of the story. My goal is to become LITTLE Jen. I want to be thinner by about 70-80 pounds. That is my goal for now. However, I will be happy to be under the 200 mark, as I have been over that mark for more than a decade after my first pregnancy. I remember the day I went over the 200 mark like it was yesterday and vowed to myself that as soon as I have this baby it will never come back up here. Well I lied to myself or at least put that vow on a very long hiatus. Today is the day before I am starting a new diet, a controversial diet, and a diet that I truly believe will work. I have been doing a lot of research and have found that this diet is proven to have no side effects (except weight loss) and has worked for many different people. People that I believe and trust, people like me. I have seen the real life results right in front of my eyes. I have met people who did this diet and say it really works. I have tried other diets such as weight watchers with really no serious results. I was on weight watchers for almost a year and only lost a few pounds here & there. I never had that OMG look at how many pounds I lost and how many dress sizes I am down. I was frustrated with this because I would do very well but with no pay off. I know my body and felt like allowing me to eat whatever I wanted and just counting the points may have been the real problem. I started paying attention to all the stuff I would eat and found the sugar content to be super high. So when I read the book, The Belly Fat Cure by Jorge Cruise I realized my problem. Sugar! I followed this book for a month and lost 18 pounds. However, it jumped right back on as soon as I stopped. Although I lost 18 pounds I still was over the 200 mark and never even went down a dress size. Seriously depressing!!! Now I know what you are thinking, she is going to start this diet and do the same thing??? Well I am not. I refuse to. This is the real deal, this is it! I am ready to start living a better life for not only myself, but for my husband, my kids, my parents, and my friends. I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis and it has become so painful this past year that some days I just want to curl up in the fetal position and stay that way all day. I am not an alcoholic or a drug addict, but some days I wish I could do something like that to get rid of the pain, to escape it, to block it. However, through a bit of self discovery I am realizing that I am hurting myself, I am in pain because I am not eating right, not getting enough sleep, not taking care of myself the way an RA sufferer should. I am over weight and because of this, my joints are hurting probably 100 times more than they would if I was lighter. So, I have decided to give this new diet my all! I am ready and I am willing to do this!! I KNOW this is going to work. I know it is going to do amazing things for me. I just bought me some HCG drops. Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin. These hormones are found in pregnant women and will allow me to eat only 500 calories per day while eating up between 1500-2000 calories of my own fat (not muscle) to help me lose weight. I need this jump start to get me healthier and happier and jump start my new way of life. I am DONE eating out, done over eating, done being unhealthy!! I want my kids to be proud of their mom, I want my parents to be proud of their daughter and look at me like a gorgeous woman vs. a "big" girl. I want my husband to look at me the way he did when we first met. I now that they all love me for who I am, and I love myself too, but enough is enough. I can not bear to gain another pound and go another year of my life thinking or saying I am going to do something about my weight. Today I am BIG Jen, but tomorrow I will be doing something about it and eventually share with you my journey to becoming LITTLE. I can't wait....